At times like these, I catch myself looking at the past...
What things were like before...
The "good ol' days"...
Its funny to think back where you were 4 years ago and where you are today. How much has changed, and how you have grown. Part of me wonders...'where has the time gone?' while the other part wishes I could stop time in its place. At moments like right now...I catch myself writing about what I am truly feeling, and most people will never read this. I would be surprised if more than 2 did, but I am perfectly okay with that. But the feeling that just seems so overwhelming is I feel like I am caught between "what has been" and "what is". I catch myself looking back at my life over the years, and even just over the 4 years I was in college. Part of me wishes I could go back and relive those years. There were good times, good friends, and good growth. But the other part of me wishes to completely forget those memories. Forget them so I wouldnt have to deal with this feeling of being stuck between the two.
Part of me wants to go back to how things were...
Part of me wants to leave it all behind me and keep on moving on...
So where does that leave me? I cant simply just forget where I have been and what made me be who I am today. What I can do is not let the past control who I am today.
But then again...
Easier said than done.
As I try to move on from the past and focus on what is ahead of me, I find myself not being able to let somethings go.
Maybe its not forgiving someone of something
Maybe its certain memories I wish I could relive
Maybe its something different all together.
Honestly...I don't know.
One verse that seems to sum up my feelings is Philippians 3:14-15 from the message.
"I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back." Philippians 3:14-15 (The Message)
Truth is...I dont have it all together...but I am on my way...I am constantly working on it. One thing I am trying to do this New Year is leave the past behind me. In whatever ways necessary...I know it will take work but if I need to get where God wants me to be...I believe it will be a vital step to that process...one step at a time...
...steps down off soap box...
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Tables and Chairs
So here I sit, thinking back on the past couple of weeks...
Christmas Parties
Putting together shoe boxes
Convoy of Hope
it has been a fun, busy, humbling past couple of weeks.
Last night was our youth group Christmas party. It was a lot of fun, and we had a good turn out. Gifts were given, laughs were shared, and a air hockey champion was crowned. During the middle of the night, I noticed the trash was full so I took it and started heading outside to empty it. As I was walking outside, it hit me, 'this is the very thing we have came here for...to serve'. It made me think back to all the tables and chairs I have moved, put up, taken down over the past couple of weeks for all the parties and things. As a minister, it is our job to serve God, and serve others...right? I mean isn't that what we are here for? Even if you are not a minister, aren't you here to serve God and serve others? In ministry certain things need to be done to get ready for certain events....clean, plan, organize, move tables and chairs. I mean, moving tables and chairs is never fun but its one of those things that just need to be done.
"In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly". - Romans 12:6-8
One part I want to point out, Paul is saying...if you have the ability to set up tables and chairs...which is 99.9% of us...and if it needs to be done....then set up those tables and chairs. But it continues and says...do it gladly...
Jesus didnt come to this earth to be served but to serve. We are suppose to reflect Jesus...are we not? If Jesus had to set up tables and chairs (metaphorically), why shouldn't we? All of this to say...we are here to serve...if something needs to be done...I believe we should be asking...what can I do to help...
Christmas Parties
Putting together shoe boxes
Convoy of Hope
it has been a fun, busy, humbling past couple of weeks.
Last night was our youth group Christmas party. It was a lot of fun, and we had a good turn out. Gifts were given, laughs were shared, and a air hockey champion was crowned. During the middle of the night, I noticed the trash was full so I took it and started heading outside to empty it. As I was walking outside, it hit me, 'this is the very thing we have came here for...to serve'. It made me think back to all the tables and chairs I have moved, put up, taken down over the past couple of weeks for all the parties and things. As a minister, it is our job to serve God, and serve others...right? I mean isn't that what we are here for? Even if you are not a minister, aren't you here to serve God and serve others? In ministry certain things need to be done to get ready for certain events....clean, plan, organize, move tables and chairs. I mean, moving tables and chairs is never fun but its one of those things that just need to be done.
"In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly". - Romans 12:6-8
One part I want to point out, Paul is saying...if you have the ability to set up tables and chairs...which is 99.9% of us...and if it needs to be done....then set up those tables and chairs. But it continues and says...do it gladly...
Jesus didnt come to this earth to be served but to serve. We are suppose to reflect Jesus...are we not? If Jesus had to set up tables and chairs (metaphorically), why shouldn't we? All of this to say...we are here to serve...if something needs to be done...I believe we should be asking...what can I do to help...
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Convoy of Hope
This morning, over 800 volenteers, over 50 different congregations around South Carolina, came together to help serve the poor and needy in Charleston. The Convoy of Hope which is a carnival-like event that includes free distribution of 2000 bags of food to provide meals to feed needy people throughout the Greater Charleston area. Free grocery distribution begins with free refreshments, live entertainment, children’s carnival area, medical services, job placement, haircuts, portraits, and giving of free shoes and socks, and clothes.
There was something about the convoy which kind of had me "on edge" before I got down there. It was a good, "God is going to show me something great" kind of edge.
It was ... humbling...
Seeing about 4000 needy people from Charleston coming to the convoy for food, haircuts, prayer, groceries, and simply prayer. It opened my eyes that there is such a need for people to help those in need. And the need is great. It was cold, rainy, and muddy but it didn't stop people from coming out.
Matthew 9:37 - "Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”
I was working in the portrait tent. They had the option for someone to do their makeup before they got a free portrait. I was assigned to this one 10 year old girl named Sarah. She had this "glow" about her smile, like she was so happy. After we got her makeup on, she got her picture taken.
As I was escorting her out of the tent, she told me "Thank You. I have never wore makeup before or gotten my picture taken. It made me feel so beautiful."
I
was
speechless...
What was I suppose to say to this 10 year old girl who had never had her picture taken before? As she left the tent, I just stood there in silence.
We take so many things for granted...like simply being able to get our picture taken. As that girl told me how she felt so beautiful, my heart just broke. God opened my eyes to the need of those not only in Charleston area but all over the world. Giving a couple of hours of my Saturday was worth it. God used a 10 year old girl named Sarah to get me to listen. Makes me think...God's voice is in everything...if we decide to stop and listen.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Reminiscing
Have you ever read over something and it sparked a memory...or ten? Where one memory simply led to another memory until it is simply overwhelming? Reminiscing on the "Good ol' Days." That is how this morning started out. If you didnt know, this past year at CIY, they handed out these cards. The rule was, you didnt have to open the card at all, but if you did, you have one year to complete it. So I prayed about it and I decided if I open this card, it will make me a better person.
My card said to read the whole bible in a year.
And that is what I have been doing. I am currently 38.7% of the way through the bible chronologically. They have free reading plans at youversion.com if you are interested. Anyways, I digress
In today's reading, I was suppose to read Psalm 62
"My soul finds rest in God alone, my salvation comes form him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, he is my fortress, I will never be shaken."
Its an awesome passage for those who are wanting to find a sense of encouragement. But as soon as I read the first line, it brought back memories of the song that comes from this passage in tour choir. Ah, the good ol days. Which the thoughts and memories of tour choir led me to the memories I have throughout my 4 years at Johnson. Brought me back to the friendships I had and a few I have lost throughout those years. It made me miss the people who played a big role in my life and who have helped make me who I am today.
Looking back at these friendships, some I wonder why I was even friends with them, other, I wish I would have gotten to know them a little better, and some, simply because of graduation, have taken us to different states, different path, with different schedules becoming harder and harder to keep in touch. Friendship are all around us. Some are not good friendships, others are more give than they are take. Some friendships you will have the rest of your life, while others were only put in your life to "transition" you into the next stage of your life. I have a lot of "transition" friends and a few friends where we can just pick up the conversation where we last left off over a month ago.
Looking back at the friendships I have/had during Johnson, I am happy that I had them, even if they turned out for the worse, because they have turned me into what I am today. Surround yourself with good friends, because you will turn into the people who you hang around. Surround yourself with friends who will encourage you and make you a better person, not just one who will bring you down.
Trust me, I have been there...
As you go on into your day, and something sparks a memory of the past...take some time and be thankful for those. Thankful for the people who you shared that memory with and the friendships you have.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmx9p6vAL1g
My card said to read the whole bible in a year.
And that is what I have been doing. I am currently 38.7% of the way through the bible chronologically. They have free reading plans at youversion.com if you are interested. Anyways, I digress
In today's reading, I was suppose to read Psalm 62
"My soul finds rest in God alone, my salvation comes form him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, he is my fortress, I will never be shaken."
Its an awesome passage for those who are wanting to find a sense of encouragement. But as soon as I read the first line, it brought back memories of the song that comes from this passage in tour choir. Ah, the good ol days. Which the thoughts and memories of tour choir led me to the memories I have throughout my 4 years at Johnson. Brought me back to the friendships I had and a few I have lost throughout those years. It made me miss the people who played a big role in my life and who have helped make me who I am today.
Looking back at these friendships, some I wonder why I was even friends with them, other, I wish I would have gotten to know them a little better, and some, simply because of graduation, have taken us to different states, different path, with different schedules becoming harder and harder to keep in touch. Friendship are all around us. Some are not good friendships, others are more give than they are take. Some friendships you will have the rest of your life, while others were only put in your life to "transition" you into the next stage of your life. I have a lot of "transition" friends and a few friends where we can just pick up the conversation where we last left off over a month ago.
Looking back at the friendships I have/had during Johnson, I am happy that I had them, even if they turned out for the worse, because they have turned me into what I am today. Surround yourself with good friends, because you will turn into the people who you hang around. Surround yourself with friends who will encourage you and make you a better person, not just one who will bring you down.
Trust me, I have been there...
As you go on into your day, and something sparks a memory of the past...take some time and be thankful for those. Thankful for the people who you shared that memory with and the friendships you have.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmx9p6vAL1g
Monday, December 6, 2010
Music
For those who know me, know that I am not the biggest Chris Tomlin Fan. I know there are people out there who absolutely love his stuff, and that is great. Me? A few of his things are worth a worthy note. For some reason, the song "Our God" has been running through my head today. It has been nagging me and it has been at the back of my head since the moment I woke up. It is the one Chris Tomlin song I do not get sick of hearing...unless I am sitting through chapel at Johnson, but luckily I am not longer having to. I feel like God is trying to teach me something new about this song but I just cant seem to figure it out. Maybe I will have more answers tomorrow about it...but for now...I will just sit and reflect on the words...wouldn't be a bad idea for you to either.
Chris Tomlin - "Our God"
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
What can stand against?
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
Isaiah 25:9 says. "In that day they will say, surely this is our God, he trusted in us and he saved us."
Chris Tomlin - "Our God"
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
What can stand against?
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
Isaiah 25:9 says. "In that day they will say, surely this is our God, he trusted in us and he saved us."
Sunday, December 5, 2010
My First Online Blog
So here I am. After journaling for a while, I figured I would just jump on the band wagon and try blogging. Something I never thought I would do. But here I am. Tonight was our Ring the Bells Christmas Concert. The goal was to ring in the new year with songs of the season and to celebrate His birth. It also doubled as a worship ministry fundraiser. Hoping to be able to start having some money for a new computer and new presentation software. It was ironic because the very thing we were trying to save for broke at the start of the night. "Oh great" I thought, all the hard work that I put in with the videos and lyrics are just going to be a waste. I told God, "I have you have a sense of humor, but now is not a good time to be showing it to me." It was like God was just sitting up there laughing at me.
So the night went on. no lyrics...no video, no visual effect at all due to the computer and presentation software being bad. But other than that, the night went well. The members of the worship team were helping by singing, reading, and doing other things and it turned out really good.
At the end of the night, we counted the offering, the total came out. I...was...shocked. I thought it was a joke at first. Raising enough money to completely replace the computer and the presentation software...and then some. I thought god was up there laughing at me. It was like, the computer went down, but God was like..."Now watch this." After the computer crashing, God provided the funds needed to replace the very thing we set out for.
I dont know why I feel like "I" have to do everything, and how everything falls on "me". Tonight was a nice swift kick to the face that it is not about me. It isnt about what I do, or what work, or how much time I put into something. It isnt about me at all. It is about sharing who God is to the people who need him.
As much as I hate Christmas music. Tonight was a big success. Not only did we reach our goal, and then some. I got a nice rude awakening which is something I have needed for a while. I am not completely there...but its a start....right?
So the night went on. no lyrics...no video, no visual effect at all due to the computer and presentation software being bad. But other than that, the night went well. The members of the worship team were helping by singing, reading, and doing other things and it turned out really good.
At the end of the night, we counted the offering, the total came out. I...was...shocked. I thought it was a joke at first. Raising enough money to completely replace the computer and the presentation software...and then some. I thought god was up there laughing at me. It was like, the computer went down, but God was like..."Now watch this." After the computer crashing, God provided the funds needed to replace the very thing we set out for.
I dont know why I feel like "I" have to do everything, and how everything falls on "me". Tonight was a nice swift kick to the face that it is not about me. It isnt about what I do, or what work, or how much time I put into something. It isnt about me at all. It is about sharing who God is to the people who need him.
As much as I hate Christmas music. Tonight was a big success. Not only did we reach our goal, and then some. I got a nice rude awakening which is something I have needed for a while. I am not completely there...but its a start....right?
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